I am keeping my attitude strong, Positive, working hard, making new friends. I am start to sink on some days. I can pull my self out. So much on y mind and it’s the negative darkness overtaking my mind. It feels so hard, I know it isn’t hard, it’s easy and I can overtake. I just have these moments I am trying to eliminate. I sometimes see my self being beat down, held and taking hits to the face. I can take the hits, one after another I can look forward and the pain fades. I will do what I have to too, and I will take that moment, to remember what I am, and what I can do.
It drives me crazy, anger and frustration have been circulating my head, I worked so hard and thought I conquered this fully. I obviously didn’t, I let it take me again. Knowing that I have a child coming into this world, and knowing I can’t have a family, hurts more than anything. The mother is a great lady, but I don’t know if she is right for me. I am a nice guy too nice. I have recently trended loving everything and everyone. I love life and I know this moment is just me ranting and letting out, so I can focus. I want the woman that I am suppose to be with, whoever she may be to know I promise, I will always support you and have you back, doesn’t matter. I want our time with each other to be appreciated, I want to go and live and I want you to too, as long as I know you’ll be home with me at the end of the night. I don’t care if you flirt for a free drink or dance with your friends, have fun. I will have fun too, and I will be home to you too. I want us to enjoy our lives together. I will always be faithful and I will always be honest I use to lie a lot to evade from embarrassment. Everyone that has just met me knows more about me than anyone even my family, just ask and I will tell you always. I am honorable I will always do the right thing and I already do. This is me there is more and words are cheap. Actions have a way of proof. I can I will.
I don’t know why I write this, honestly fate decides my way in that portion, I decide the rest for me. I know what I am going to do, in these moments of weakness, if I said I am always positive and strong I would be lying, yeah the “Hero” who I am referred to is “Human”. I can and do overcome this, it feels hard like I said. Fear fills my heart and brings the doubt. I by nature want to blame everyone else, but there is no one to blame but myself. That is the part that makes me more. I know it is me, I am the soul reason for for nonsuccessive nature. I have brought all my fears to life, because I created it. I know this, I know this by heart. I also know I can change this, I know I have the power to change the pattern to get out of the circle, I have done it already. I know what to do to combat my negative nature, but somehow I still let it get through. I will continue to succeed, this is just a state of mind and it bleeds out the feeling. I know it’s a challenge, it honestly is a easy challenge. I don’t really like talking to people about it, especially ones who see me and are inspired by me and my success, the “Hero” feels pain, the “Hero” loses faith, the “Hero” doubts? Yeah I do, but I’ll tell you something, its about how we go forward with it. I don’t want you to lose your inspiration, these moments happen, and keep that inspiration close to your heart, because when I achieve my dream, I want you to know even with these moments, success is still obtainable and right in reach. We determine our our success. I have determined mine and I am living it.
When I get there, I will tell you can. “Real Human,… Real Hero”
An update on my dream. Its still in the planning stage, Film Festivals and Contacts are gathering, I have people willing to help and that are already helping. I am going to use the nations talent for my success. Have to get more information before opening my company, Eye Watch. Now it’s time to learn the business and talk to potential Investors and pitch my passionate Idea to the world. I am ready and it is in grasp. I want this, I will have this, I already have it.
Put your mind to your dreams and k now life is easy life is good and we can do what ever we want. Not unrealistic that thought is for people who have never had the courage to do it. An always wonder why life is so hard and struggling, and for those who have tried and failed and feel regret and doubt and felt it while trying, lose the attitude, because that is why we fail. Mind set, our minds are much more than we think. Us we (our minds) pave the way for our wants and needs. If you have a dream go for it, you want to be a millionaire go for it.
People sometimes think it’s crazy and I am a 22 year old nut bag who doesn’t make sense. Well I am a nut bag… a cute one by the way but I do make sense.. It’s common sense. What we want want is always inside us, and stays close by. Look inside, and you’ll be surprised what you find. Power.
Have a good one folks, I am still on my path and working to have it, and I am going too, watch, watch me closely I promise you.. I will do it.