Watching the world fall around me, and yet I can still breath. I still move forward, I walk out into a dark vast Valley. Submerged in the deepest pits of agony. I realize that I relied to much on an outside source, instead of myself. I make mistakes. I have encountered people who are inspirational in every way. Most are the women, that can die inside and crumble and still have the courage smile and know there is better for them. I admire this quality, I admire that more than anything, it is strength it is honor all the things men acquire but are not made with. I resemble honor I do know and honesty, I am so proud of myself, because I live with decency so much care. I lost that one time, I forgot who I was and where I came from. I gave up on becoming the person I needed to be. I found him and again it tries to slip out. I won’t let it go, I have it held tight. I have myself and the glorious family and friends and people I appreciate, appreciate more than anything in this world. I will always be there, watching from a distance and being their for that sweet angel. I pray for my daughter’s well being and I pray that she be born, I know she will, I pray that if anything is too happen, god take me in her place. I pray that my child grows old and lives with honesty, honor and respect, for life, herself, and others I will die for that. I know she will, her mother is a great example, a tough fierce woman who leaps and bounds over life’s toughest. Dear Ally Dad Always thinks of you everyday. The mother is 15 weeks pregnant. I know that this is a bit much but for an apple sized baby, but she is my apple sized baby. I want her and the world to know what I was thinking and doing this exact moment in life. Something people don’t know about me.. I have moments of anger and blame others for my faults and my situations, no one to blame but me. I bring about the pits of agony. The best part I pull myself out. I have mentioned my moment in life that have thrown me to the sides, a boy watching the world go by as stood and watched, the feeling of lone hit so hard, it molded me, it created this being of rage and self pitty. Blaming the world was all I knew and hating every moment. The deepest darkest roots of me I have to confront and conquer it. I had to jump back in that dark place hidden deep down, and remove it. I know who to hold responsible for all the times in life I fell and crushed, all the tears, all the destruction, all the pitty, all the hate. The finger goes into the mirror, I look into it and see a different man* the culprit was me, the masked phantom of self destruction, destroying the very foundation built by a woman, a woman that loved me dearly and showed me values. One’s that most children don’t get to experience. This woman is the true Hero in my heart, I love you
And I am sorry I tried to break down the person that you help build. I kept the strength and the love, and the respect the kindness, I lost the honor and the honesty and integrity, I lost them for a long while. I apologize to you and my Mother and Father. I can’t do anything for my past but forgive myself and move forward onto a new day and brighter future, one I am creating. A career in grasp with a passion that ensures my daughter the security for 10 life times. I am I will and I already have. I have honor, I have honesty, I have integrity. I am a good person, and I love who I am. Can’t respect my giving cash to bums, can’t respect my giving cheap ass training sessions to folks, can’t respect my decisions in trust, well then I tell you… you don’t have too, but have a great day ;). What makes me happy makes me happy.
To you I tell, give life a chance , for those who don’t, for those who feel it is over and done. No matter the situation. Love, War, Poverty, Death(loved one). Life has a meaning and a purpose. Respect it and go for it. I believe we all can. everyone has the power to make a change in their lives. Good night world