Well I thought I was good cool guy till, I found out I was wrecking my relationship, I happen to be the phantom behind the mask.. I almost lost the woman that means everything to me.. this realization has kicked up my tempo I’m in gear and trying to get her back.. I’ve already been doing things I normally don’t to help fight my depression and fix the angry issues I have that crushed us and to have a better handle on things for the future. Our relation ship is not back and running and probably won’t for a while, But i’ll use that time to correct my mistakes and errors so our future will be everything she deserves and more, I have gotten another chance and I have to be optimistic and need to be to tackle this huge challenge the biggest I’ve ever faced. Writing this is painful and sad at times, especially for me. I’m not that good with grammar so excuse my poor taste of writing. But hopefully I make up for it with.. I don’t even know what, my intense determination.. yeah I’m going with that. This story or more like a story update is long already and is going to be longer and doesn’t have an ending, because it’s reality and I didn’t pay attention to reality till now. I wish a million things I could change but I can’t and I have to remember that so I don’t turn into a pile of mushie self pity. I don’t even deserve that pathetic title I’m would be more like a cowardly soppy fuckin disgraced shit head. But that hasn’t happen yet and I’m planning to keep it that way.. please enjoy the read of my misery. This happens to be extremely therapeutic for me, it’s weird but hey it’s working for me.
I am a cool guy life is great and wonderful, it’s really bizarre that it takes a fuckin nightmare to open your eyes.. And see the monster you have become in all forms.. I’m becoming some more now, A revelation.. for me… I now accept, learn, feel,love and appreciate the things we take for granted.. I still have a temper, but I dilute it down with the thought of stop, be happy relax, enjoy the feeling of turning anger into happiness, sadness into joy. I aspire to make my dreams a reality, I have already have made some come true, and I continue to do it, with bigger dreams in mind, I mean giant. I can do it, an so can you follow your heart, and fight for your dream.. You will get it. Another factor that has helped me is God and his belief in me ( all religions and views accepted) But this is my view, and the majority of the credit goes to him, Thank you lord for it all, you’ve always been there for me, and taken me from the ugliest of times and helped me survive through.. I thank an love you. An to the rest of the people reading this thank you as well too you are greatly appreciated 😉 Now I have to go take out my puppy, she keeps resting her head on my hands while I type, usually that would piss me off but it didn’t this time, it made me feel good that she wants my attention, I’m gonna go chill with her now, Thank you.
I make a new about me. I am a man that is in love had the right idea above and Now truly lives the parts that he loves life and everyone and everything in it. I still work on being 100% grateful and positive. I thank myself for not giving up. It’s time to continue. I am now having a child, a small little baby that I am in love with. On july 3rd I find out that little angel is on her way. I smile and feel excitement. I was heart broken and beat down a bit. I gathered myself, raised above the dark cloud. I am more positive than ever and is becoming more gratful, for the air I breathe, the floor my feet touch, the bed I lay in, the food I eat, the sky I see and the people I love. I am happy to be here in this situation and happy to be in it with a tough determined woman, the mother of my child. I don’t k now of our fate. I let god handle that. I have to do what i came here to do before I enter anyone life. The Warrior in the deep distance, Taking on the world of desire. I am going to be successful and i all ready am. I already did it. I will live my dream and already am. For Ally.
Please excuse my crappy grammar.