Rise above

You know it’s been an adventure since may 21st til now. I am happy to say that I have risen above the disasters. I have taken the responsibility. I controlled every outcome of those situation and always went down the road that made it worse. It is so nice to breath with out knots tearing my chest apart, and finally saying goodbye to that ugliness. I move forward finally realizing that I deserve the credit I always took away from myself. I am happy to be me, I love myself a ton. It is awesome I am overfilled with joy and extreme gratitude. Believing in myself always. That attitude change and my quest to redefine myself paid off. I am the luckiest man in the universe, because I have the greatest woman in it, that loves me more than anything and will always support, care trust and believe in me as well, always remains faithful and respectful of herself , I and our family. Truth be told I took her and our lives for granted. Instead of thanking god everyday for her, I just flew on by. Never again, Never ever again. It will and always will be different, because we make each other happier than anyone will ever make us. For that I am just thankful as thankful can be! Thank you for this chance and opportunity, to show her I am the man for her, and she is the woman for me. Thank you thank you thank you!

Okay so an update it’s time to start. My Video presentation will hit Indiegogo and Kickstarter very soon, I need your guys help to make it happen, and spread the word. I will update the blog with the links to the pages. I am going through different avenues, still haven’t heard back from Luc Besson, I will soon though I know it. Okay so the project starts now. The list of people and resources I wish to obtain and will obtain:

1. Ember labs and Mike Grier.

2. Autofuss production company

3. Jon Proudstar

4. James Cameron evaluation (I will get it)

5. Kalen Chock (Concept Art)

6. Michael McCann Composer

7. News stations and radio stations, social media, this blog and youtube promoters to promote the project and the links to Kickstarter and IndieGogo

8. A famous actor… Maybe Sam Worthington.. Worth a shot huh

9. the funding to make it possible, Almost there, I will meet my goal, and bring together more communities to make it happen.

10.  Luc Besson ( Iwill get him too)

I can do this, and I will. Of course not alone, I am going to need support, I would like to ask you if you can help in anyway, just to spread to help spread the word about redefiningmyenity and the Kickstart, Inidgogo journey!. Thank you very much for reading my posts I grammar filled errors But none the less I appreciate it and you.

I am ready to make a movie, and perhaps change the world in some positive way. My real goal with this is too , create a revolution of our own. Thank you.

About me:

1. I feel bad when I kills insects, I know ridiculous

2. I am a big softie

3. I can be mean

4. I am a fearful person

5. I am a fearless person

6. I try to love everyone and everything, I am actually very good at this.

7. I am learning a very important skill, patience

8. I face my fears and problems for the first time

9. I love being honest and having honor

10. I believe we can achieve anything.

11. I believe in everyone

12. I still respect dogs and animals as our equals

13. I eat meat and vegetables too

14. I have never smoked pot, no joke. But I have pissed myself drunk

15. I tell people I don’t cry at movies, honestly that would be untrue I cried to P.S I love you(don’t ask) and 300 “My Queen, My wife, My Love”. King Leonidas, gets me every time.

16. Movies I watched over and over as a little kid, Terminator 2: judgment day(for real), Seven Samurai, Dustin checks in, Indiana Jones! Star Wars (Big Fan, not of Hayden though)(or Jarjar), BackDraft(with my older bro), Ofcourse beauty and the beast, little mermaid, Aladdin! Lion King, True Lies, Total Recall, Die Hard (1,2,3), Jaws(~~^~~ dun dun), and a lot more.

17. I sometimes bust out with random weird humor, I actually cuss quite a bit, trying to cut it down.

19. I laugh at things people think are dumb.  laughing so hard you cry is the best. Three men that have ever made me cry laughing, My two uncles and my best friends grandpa.

20. I can be a pain in the ass

21. I have a crazy sense of willpower.

22. I am in love with the most beautiful woman in the universe.

23. I value love, over money, hope over overwhelming odds, first thoughts are always to  never limit myself.

24. I am in love with my beautiful sweet gorgeous unborn baby daughter, Aliyah Rose Caballero.

25. I want to help change the world.

My little video when I was 16: Anyone like the Predator:

http://s132.photobucket.com/albums/q16/sarge122/?action=view&current=predatorclip_0003.mp4&evt=user_media_share

My toys, I loved Metal Gear solid so at 14 I made my own video with them and edited both these myself.

http://s132.photobucket.com/albums/q16/sarge122/?action=view&current=mgs_0002.mp4&evt=user_media_share

I actually started my little videos at 12 with Steven Spielberg’s Lego movie studio set! Dang did I love that Lego set I made probably like a hundred videos, everyday before and after school weekends you name it.

At 14 I began teaching myself to use Adobe After Effects, my first skill learned was the Light saber:

Then muzzle flashes:

And explosions:

Haha I did these all around 14 to 15. Then at 15 I started doing green screen:

beautiful

Then after that I went nuts! At 18 I began getting into even crazier things:

I wanted to do this movie called VIR, will one day. It’s a superhero flick

I wanted to do my own adaptation of  Red Dawn (there already doing one, dang!)

At 17 I began getting into 3d animation and Cgi. I began working the the incredible program, E-on’s Vue Xstream! I made some wild pictures and islands and environments, sadly the computer I did it on crashed hard core and I was almost in tears when I lost it all. I began doing a lot of motion tracking, and 3d set extensions and just really fun stuff. I did this because finding some one as passionate as I was for film was hard, so I taught myself a one man show. Unfortunately that’s why I never got to do my own short film, the best was the Predator one haha. I was a determined 16 year old, my mom did the camera work on a older nikon digital camera. It worked fine! My work now is different and a little more complex. Now I work more with the camera and create new styles to adapt into film:

There was this photo contest online by Ron Howard and Canon these were the pics I submitted. I remember that day I wanted to take pictures that were of things you don’t see everyday, my sister and mom told me to go with them out into town. I said nah, i have to think about what I am going to do for pictures. Sure enough they get me to go. Something felt right about going as we started driving. I took my camera out of  its bag, and waited. I was curious to what i was going to see. My sister said I’m glad you came, your going to get your pictures. Sure enough no joke two minutes later, these abandoned hotels by the river were blazing on fire. And the fire department was working to put it out. I told my sis pull over!! I hopped out of the car and began snapping shots. No one was hurt, they were abandoned, but it was amazing to see, the heroic sight. Something you don’t see everyday:

I got the pictures I wanted, Thank the lord no one was hurt I would have felt awful. Still a Historic location was destroyed. It was really crazy to see.

The loves of my life:

My car, Max

My sweet baby girl,  Phoenix. 1 year and 2 months old and over 110 pounds

My Daughter Ali (Al-Lee)

And  of course the graceful girl, but I should ask her permission first before throwing a picture up, haha even though we are back together.

I didn’t know if I mentioned how grateful I am for her. I honestly would take up 36 posts just to write the way she makes me feel, best word for is just… wow. When they say she takes  your breath away, she really does :D . I am luckiest man in the universe. My love to Aliyah and Sarah. forever an ever ;)

By the way My Name is Christian Caballero, if I haven’t introduced myself formally or officially

This is me.

So I have to thank you all, I am very grateful for your follows and likes, and for putting up with my terrible grammar. I am learning as I go on :P

If you’d like an extra friend on face book :D

http://www.facebook.com/chris.cabbnomad

Thank you all, I wish for the best things in life to you. Christian

For Ali (Al-lee) & her beautiful mother love you both.

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Now I know

Now I know she didn’t want a man in her life… ah I tried though.. Can’t say i didn’t do that lol. I’m happy for her, she used her courage, and told me to go do my own thing, she said she feels liberated.. Good for you girl… Good for you. I am sincerely happy for you. I’m going to be ok, I’m still going to change but now for my own good. I feel like I haven’t lost anything, but I might have gained something.. Myself.. I’m being able to change my ways and throw them to the curb.. I have to thank you for that. i didn’t get to tell you but one day when you read this you’ll see. i appreciate our times together and cherish your family. i love you.. and Will always more as of now as a friend. you are lovely and a great person, don’t ever forget, and don’t lose that … I took the ring off finally, it felt right this time. If it’s over for now or forever.. i’ll still always remember you with good feelings in mind. Thank you for giving me the strength to carry on. i’m sorry if i creep ed you out with that at the QT i just was uncertain of your feelings, and had to know and see one last time. now that i know. i’m ready to move on.. I will miss you, i really will. love always Chris… 😉

Things are going to get better folks I am so sure of it 😉 there’s always a happy ending to every tale, and mine isn’t done yet.. On my next blog I will tell you how i lost over 160 pounds in less than a freaking year!! Fat teenager to Skinny fit buff 18 yearold 😉 stay tuned. and i will also update on my Adventures in Portland Oregon!!! 😉 let’s stay positive folks and hopeful, it waill go well in the end. PORTLAND HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tough

Sitting at home moping doesn’t help.. i just wish I didn’t mess this up… IU hate the fact that i want her her sooo bad that it hurts.. and the fact that she is just going on leaving me behind it seems like… I don’t know that.. I still feel her here with me.. like a piece of her stayed with me for a reason, maybe it loves me  so much it stayed and doesn’t want to leave.. I don’t know.. I wish I knew I hate that feeling.. It’s almost like I can feel hers.. I love her soo much.. I just don’t want to let go completely.. I just didn’t know what i was doing… I regret it soo much, I failed her.. she didn’t fail me.. she didn’t I did. I know it takes two to tango but i messed it up.. i just wish i could get more more minute just to try, just to try one last time.. It has been the hardest time of my life.. I keep thinking back to having faith.. i have too..  i really feel like i can’t lose this.. I was going to have kids with her, i used to think about us married and having a home with kids, we had names, and we had each other.. I’m better now I re-gained myself finally right now.. have this feeling in me that shouts.. I never should have let me emotions and negativity win.. I knew in my heart she loved me but always doubted it with trust issues and fearing the worst.. It’s time to break that habit.. I can’t work out for some reason, and I can’t eat for some reason. I just feel empty all over.. I’m dehydrated to all hell. I know that’ll all come back but The graceful girl i keep my head high for.. I still feel you around.. I’m sorry I’m saying sorry to me.. I’m trying to forgive myself.. So this doesn’t carry on, pouring out my heart here isn’t easy, i want to lie and make myself sound better but I can’t, and I won’t.. I keep hearing this song in my head she loved, 1000 years by Christina Perri.. I still wonder what the real people in the vow did? The guy mainly.. i want to know how he coped and kept his faith strong.. I have my moments of clarity and strength but it all dulls away once I feel her inside.. If i could run to her right now and that’ll make the difference I would if I could call her and tell her wait.. I would.. but this goes back to the space she needs and perhaps I need.. She needs this.. And I know I can change my way.. I know that if she came back I’d be semi ready to start over.. but she wouldn’t be.. and that wouldn’t work again.. Time heals all it’s cliche but true.. I will heal and so will she and maybe then.. just maybe I can get the graceful girl back… Just let fate decide, just don’t take to long fate I freakin miss her.. :). It’s going to be ok, she is going to be ok, I’m going to be ok.. I see her again I will.