breaking out of gray

Things are working out fast and easy life is good and too easy working on multiple avenues with multiple companies one which Columbia and another Microsoft studios for two separate projects. These workings are only opportunities at this time nothing written in stone and still working out the details but the fact that I have gotten so far in such a short time is amazing to me. I want to say thank you to you all and want to let you know that I’m a eye lash shy of proving to you all, that believing in your self and pursuing you dreams with a 100% positive mind set will get you to where you want to be. I am almost there. I am also going to tell you the road ahead can sometimes be bumpy, you determine how bad. That is a challenging task for most, but it is doable, so go do it! I will too. I wish you the best and please wish me the best as well, I have some moments of gray lately dealing with new moments and new situations that are only here to better myself and my family. I believe in that and I also know that Sarah and I are suppose to be and we are proving that positivity right. she is the woman I have always wanted and needed. I am the man she needs and wants too and I am becoming that more and more. There are little bumps here and there, but we are doing something we never did before, dealing with the pain, instead of running from it or just ignoring it. This time we have each other and we are already so different from may 19th haha. It’s unbelievable no screaming no punching walls, no calling each other mean names no outbursts of cruelty. There are still some issues with sensitivity (me), irritability (me and way more her :P), Guilt trips (her and me), and some trust issues (me and slightly her) due to use dating other people while apart. IT’s mostly silliness but the most important things, love, honor, respect, honesty, Happiness (majority of the time, some moments of gray), support! support! and Support! we make each other happier than anyone will ever make us and working on making it all the time and we love each other more than anyone will ever love us. So things are great, too great my daughter is 31 weeks and is looking to pop out in January, bu she will be here the 24th or the 25th maybe the 26th or 27th of December! My b-day is the 26th of December so I have a feeling, just how I know she was a little princess!


I wish you all the best and thank you for all the support!

Thank you. Christian

For Sarah and Ali



The world and this secret.

Rhonda Byrne wrote “The Secret” it is a great book, the best you can read, but I warn you, you have to be willing to learn and accept all that it says, no matter how insane it may seem to you, but it gave me this feeling of happiness and positive attitude. You know before I broke up with my ex I was totally negative, I would trash on stuff just to be mean, and be an ass and make her and others feel bad for no reason but jealousy and ignorance and stubborn rebel for no reason. Asshole me, haha well thanks to life and it’s ultimate wisdom, I have changed, This journey is the start to something huge, I have an impact on people I meet, helping people various people, people with problems and sickness. I support them, strangers I can relate and give them the words of encouragement and now the comfort of listening and understanding their persona. People are amazing, everyone you see around you has their own deals, problems that fill them. Most are good at hiding it and being blinded by their own selves. To tell you the truth, Acceptance makes all the difference, being truthful to yourself, knowing that no matter what happens in life it will always work. You, me everyone has the power to overcome. Mental, minds are all attacking us in different ways, crying your self to sleep is way for your mind to evoke emotion and seeing that perspective differently, will change your outlook. Today I sat out side under the canopied trees sun light hitting my face, thinking of the words I read. “my good thoughts are strong and over come all my negative thoughts, my negative thoughts are weak and will always be weak”. My positive thoughts are the strongest in the universe, and my negativity is the weakest. Overcome, believe it or not the same house I’ve been in for the last month and a half feels different, the mood changes, same place. It’s my mind set obviously. Being positive and telling your self those good positive thoughts over come and everything is going to be fine and I will achieve my dreams. I will forgive all, I will love all, I will appreciate all, I will take this life of mine and make it the best and live my dream. My daughter or son haha is a part of this. It’s amazing how everything works. Most would see this as a travesty but it’s a miracle and a blessing. I am so excited for the next steps, my life isn’t ending it’s starting the new chapter. I look very forward to it. I will have my success and my childs respect. I love you little kid, don’t forget ;). 


Ok So onto the news the team is working in five different cities and states. I need to get more info. Any one who reads this blogs and is into the film scene or knows someone, please have them contact me, I’m pulling all my resources. I can do this, Any advice or help or anything will be greatly appreciated.


Thank you all


Something we should acknowledge

My positivite attitude helps me redefine

You know I changed the theme, My heart is still patching up, But I can’t just let it drive me. That woman on the header image, what do you think she is feeling? Certainly some kind of moment she is having where she can open her arms and smile at the sky. Not many people have those moment where we can just look out our windows or stand outside and just smile, just knowing that there is some kind of calm and wondrous feeling  that over takes us is amazing. In these last two weeks just from my writing, you can tell I have a change of attitude, I speak from my heart, on this, I’m one guy just writing, letting go of everything that binds me to bend the truth, I can’t anymore. I see a person that I want to be, that is myself, and I go and grab it. You can fake who you are, easy to do, have done it many times, but after the front, you ever get that feeling of disgust, like wow I’m really fucking fake. I hate that feeling I think people who realize it do too. Nothing is short of impossible, it really isn’t anyone can do anything they want, mind, ethic, and heart. The pale blue dot, there is something majestic about that video, I don’t know if it’s the moguai track or Carl Sagans speech, the clips, or is it the point it makes. To me it makes perfect sense.  This world is all we have, he said “this is were we make our stand”. That is very true, So let’s make the best of it we can. Can’t live in regret, no way to live. Follow your gut, because it’s usually right. I’ve learned that, and the other is not to give up. Don’t ever. So I say let’s live strong and happy, and make this life the best we can.

Couldn’t stop thinking..

You know I have to say, I gave her what she wanted.. I want her to be happy, so I did what most people that are selfish (was me) won’t do.. I let her go.. I did it to hope for a better future.. a better one with her, my mother told me that good people receive all they give away… I would honestly still give my life for her.. I really would, I ain’t so cowardly you know.. I ‘m about 25/75% 75% courage and 25% stupid/weak. I realize more and more things every day. I gave the graceful girl 20% when she should have gotten my 100% not 110% cause that is in fact lame, but she deserved infinite %. I could have, and still saying should have. She is still all over my mind… Thinking of my new found courage, to just drop my job and move to a completely different part of the country is crazy, ha, but I’m fuckin doing it. You know out of all the moaning of me being a shit head and pleading my love for the graceful girl.. I never stopped to tell her thank you.. To actually tell her thank you for loving me.. I know i shouldn’t have too, but she made the biggest difference in my life, doesn’t mean I’m losing hope on the graceful girl, something tells me we’ll find each other again.. I thank her soo much for everything, the best times of my life, and showing me a new different perspective. I also have to thank her family for every thing as well, for taking me in and treating me like family. I really do appreciate the graceful girl. I hope you always know that. Break ups are tough shit.. They can totally make or break you, but this wasn’t a dumb high school relationship.. This was love, at it’s strongest truest form.. Graceful girl.. i’m ready to keep going forward.. I hope you are too. Everything is hectic right now, but you see very clearly, and I have the utmost faith in you to find yourself and find your way. Doesn’t mean goodbye for good, just maybe a goodbye for now. Now my friends I’m going to try an eat, probably a bite or two but I’ll try… I love you very much, and probably always will… don’t forget that…

Thank you to you guys following I’ll keep pumping this shit out, cause my head is full of it..